A nice compliment here, a little encouragement there, what’s the harm? Most of the time, there is no harm. But when does a simple compliment turn into grooming?
Grooming is the act of befriending a child and sometimes the family to establish an emotional connection with the child to lower the his or her inhibition, so the child is less resistant to future sexual abuse.
Vulnerable students are perfect prey for grooming. Students with divorced parents, a recent death in the family, or who are struggling with depression are some of the most at risk. The teachers who attempt to groom students ostensibly fill the void in the student’s life by talking to them and creating a relationship. Establishing the initial bond with the student enables them to slowly open the student up emotionally, gaining their trust in the process. Since educators have consistent interaction with students, teachers can quickly develop personal relationships with their students.
Title IX law in the U.S. prohibits sexual discrimination in school. The law requires schools to identify grooming actions and investigate grooming in the same way that they would investigate allegations of sexual misconduct. The education code does not require that educators are thoroughly informed on child abuse or grooming.
Most school districts do not have set boundaries about teacher-student relations, leaving important grey areas open for interpretation. Instead, 95 percent of California’s state education institutions rely on the California School Boards Association to administer guidelines.
Unfortunately, the lack of awareness training in schools makes it more difficult for outside teachers to identify and report grooming actions. A program working to change this is called Talk About Abuse to Liberate Kids. This program works with California K-12 schools to help teachers and administrators identify signs of grooming and provide ways to enforce formal policies. Founder and President of Talk About Abuse to Liberate Kids, Diane Cranley, stated that “we’re literally missing the mark on this training that people have to take every year.”
Being on the lookout for grooming behaviors and having sexual abuse reporting procedures is important, but those actions alone aren’t enough to get the student out of a horrific situation where sexual abuse is occurring. Students don’t have to become the next Bruce Lee or Chuck Norris to defend themselves against a sexual predator.
Simple and easy self-defense techniques which help neutralize strength and size differences are often taught for very cheap or even free in local seminars. Even using fingers to forcefully poke the eyes or a weak punch in the throat can give a small child a chance to escape from a sexual predator.
Martial arts also instill respect for one’s self, others, and personal boundaries. Children who know martial arts are often more confident and aware of their own space, making them less susceptible to grooming and sexual abuse.
Learning martial arts doesn’t have to be expensive. Many cities have low-cost group classes at community centers or church fellowship halls. In Texas, Chuck Norris has the Kickstart Kids program, which is an in-school character development program that uses karate to teach life-changing values to low-income middle and high school students.
In San Diego, Family Christian Martial Arts uses biblical principles to teach character and karate at an affordable price. Short eight week sessions or one day seminars in Krav Maga teach highly effective self-defense techniques for real-world situations.
Schools, churches, and parents may not be able to completely stop grooming and other forms of sexual abuse, but students are not. Grooming awareness, reporting procedures, and basic self-defense techniques give students the ability to spot, report, and stop sexual abuse before it happens.
